The Prairie

I'm blogging today from a peaceful little rest area just south of Council Bluffs, Iowa.  And this is a first for me, there is free wireless internet in the rest area, provided by the Iowa DOT!  One of the changes I forgot to mention in yesterday's entry is the weather.  After the deluge I drove through, the temperatures dropped into the 60's.  Currently it is 73 degrees with humidity at 47%!  

The landscape has been nice today, rolling fields, lots of corn and silos, and very clean and blue small ponds and lakes.  The intention for the day has been to stay focused on the drive.  The highway has been clear, just sharing it primarily with 18-wheelers.  I started the day in Kansas, then through more of Missouri, and now Iowa.  Going for South Dakota tonight.

Travel Log to come late tonight, for now it's back on the road.

Mindfulness of Eating

This morning I made a commitment to be mindful of what I ate throughout the day.  As usual, I ate no breakfast.  Instead, after checking out of my hotel, I went directly to get food for lunch.  I managed to quiet the urges to eat chips, nuts and candy, and instead bought a salad, an apple, water and unsweetened tea.  I ate my lunch at a rest area, spending less than $5.00 for the meal.  I also had baby carrots to snack on during the drive; no chips, no candy.  For dinner this evening I had a turkey club sandwich, cole slaw, and vegetable sticks (carrots and celery).  The reason I share this is not for  the details, but because I was able to mindfully stay true to my intention for the day.  To change habits, one must expend some mental energy to remain aware of the high-risk situations that could sabotage the positive change.

The ride today was about changes as well. The southern part of Missouri was full of rock out-croppings, as in the Ozark mountains of Arkansas, but without the mountains and roads full of turnbacks.  Until I reachedSt. Louis, the weather was hot and muggy, temperatures in the low to mid-nineties with stifling humidity.  As I moved west of St. Louis, I ran into about an hour of bumper-to-bumper traffic, moving only about 25-30 miles during that time.  As soon as the traffic opened up, the weather changed, first sprinklings of rain, then progressing to downpours which didn't clear out until I got to Columbia, MO.  

Unlike Dorothy, after these storms I didn't end up in Oz, but in Kansas.  Tonight's stop is in Overland Park, Kansas just southwest of Kansas City, MO.

Travel Log- September 5, 2014

Departed Cape Girardeau, MO at 12:40 PM

Arrived in Overland Park, KS at 9:00 PM, after traffic and storm delays

375 miles (approx.)

Only one additional state today, Kansas

Fighting my Impulses

I think I'm a fairly normal guy.  I don't drink very often, and when I do, it's very limited.  Day to day, I don't seem to struggle with many impulses. In fact, some view me as very calm and collected, especially when there is stress or pressure.  But today, I've noticed that there have been impulses; fairly strong impulses to do things that I know are not the best for me.  For instance, before leaving the casino in Richardsonville, MS this morning, I felt an urge to go back to the slot machines.  (Note: I did make an A in statistics so I know that the odds on those machines are stacked heavily against me!). I managed to weather that impulse, but there were others throughout the day.  While waiting three hours (yes...3 hours!) to have two new tires put on the back of the car, I couldn't stand it, I had to have a cigarette.  While driving to this evening's destination, Cape Girardeau, Missouri, I couldn't resist buying snacks at two stops.  I'm thinking to myself, my weight and my potential health problems are two things I could control!  So why do I sabotage myself like this?

One reason is undoubtedly that there is something I get from smoking and eating junk.  Finding what drives me to do these things I don't really want to be doing is one step.  But even without knowing what underlying force drives these things, there are things I can do right now to make changes.  The first is to become aware of the impulse and resist it.  I will need to remember what motivates me to make these changes in order to resist the strength of the impulse.  For me, I will feel better and hopefully look better if I lose weight.  My health will also improve if I quit smoking and change what I eat.  I have this fantasy that I will be more popular after these changes, but whether that's true or not, it sure is motivating to think so!  

All of these changes I want to make are also about self-discipline, and cultivating the strength to make different and healthier choices, in the moment, mindfully, without judgment.  Tomorrow's task is to be very mindful of impulses and urges, noticing their strength, and matching the strength of these habits with the courage of mindful motivation.

Travel Log - September 4, 2014

Departed Robinsonville, Mississippi at about 11:40 AM

Arrived in Memphis, TN about 12:40 PM

Waited in Bartlett, TN about 3 hours for new tires to be put on car at Sam's Club

Departed Memphis, TN approximately 3:40 PM

Arrived in Cape Girdardeau, Missouri at 6:30 PM

300 miles

Breakfast with Daddy

I took my Dad to breakfast this morning.  "How are your kids," he asks.  "Matthew is in Seattle working fir Amazon, and Kat is doing well in school wnd graduates in the spring," I answer.  We went to the same fast-food place he's been going to for several years.  The same Septegenerians and Octogenarians were there at the big round table.  The "youngsters," the two Lewis brothers, are in their late 50s or early 60s.  They appeared to qualify by virtue of their grey hair and balding domes.  Daddy's hair is very thin, grey, but covers his head and is just as wavy as when he was in the Army.  He asks about the kids, "Where's Matthew?"  "He's working in Seattle," I reply calmly.   The repetitions are expected now, and for 95 years of age, he's doing pretty well!  He doesn't move well these days, not so much due to Parkinson's disease that still manifests in shaky arms and hands.  More likely his difficulty moving or going to the fitness center is attributable to his deteriorating memory.  He literally cannot remember to get up and go.  He shows me a book about the Korean War.  Remote memories are still intact and a source of grounding for him.

The drive today was from Demopolis to the casino south of Memphis in Mississippi where my brother has a free room.  A distance of over 250 miles, the day was marked with missed turns and GPS routes that were... eccentric.  Eating at the buffet, he asked me "Is daddy repeating questions?"  We decided he needs to go to the fitness center and that his tractor needs to remain unstartable, to keep him from hurting himself.  The slot nachines were a cacophony of bells, whistles, music, and lights, designed to mesmerize patrons while house odds took effect.

Travel Log - Wednesday,  September 3, 2014
Departed from Demopolis, Alabama approximately 11:40 AM
Arrived in Robinsonville, Mississippi about 6:05 PM
Approximately 300 miles, including about 45 "missed turn" miles

Cleaning the Fridge

"Only true friends go straight to your refrigerator when they go to your house."  - Anonymous

The last task before hitting the road on my cross-country road trip was cleaning out the refrigerator.  I've been procrastinating this for quite a while, but leaving town for September is not exactly like taking a day trip.  The chicken, the cheese, the vegetables, would all decompose in the weeks I'll be away.  And so I began.  Almost everything had to go.  Cleaning the fridge is like clearing space for something new, maybe a new way of eating and opening up to trying new foods and recipes.  When I return, I can  make considered choices as to what goes in the fridge.

I see this cross-country drive that began today as clearing space for something new as well.  It is a chance to examine my own thoughts and patterns, clearing out those that are not useful, and opening up to trying new foods and recipes in my life.  This includes examining closely held beliefs and values, and being willing to shift priorities.  Over two thousand years ago, Socrates is attributed as saying, "The unexamined life is not worth living."  Socrates didn't have a refrigerator, but I'm guessing he would see the parallels in examining what goes into the fridge and examining what goes into our lives.

Travel Log - September 2, 2014

Departed Fort Walton Beach, Florida approximately 4:00 PM

Arrived in Demopolis, Alabama approximately 7:40 PM

205 miles

 I've been on these roads so many times before,

Only the weather and presence or absence of company changes.

I noticed my thoughts are still flitting back and forth 

To various tasks I want to accomplish while on this trip.

The goal of mindfully noticing just what is present externally

Was usurped today by abstract lists and "must remember this"

Driving my thoughts and attention like racehorses.