We are unique! (Just like everyone else): Getting comfortable with self-promotion

Want to have some fun?  Get your camera out and mention the word 'marketing' to a counseling professional.  You'll get some seriously hilarious reactions, great for sharing on Twitter, Facebook or Instagram (whatever that is!).  While counselors are often very good with people, counselors are not always good at touting their skills or selling themselves.  After all, our skills are directed at listening to others, not talking about ourselves!

So how does a counselor get a practice off the ground if self-promotion is awkward and anxiety provoking?  I will first offer this disclaimer:  I am far from an expert on the topic of marketing a counseling practice, in fact I am a rank amateur.  I have a fledgling practice so I have just begun this process and have many, many lessons to learn.  But what I have learned to do, I will share, in the hope that it will help someone else out there, as well as generate some comments about what I've done so far.

Starting with the fact that many of us have had little or no practice describing our strengths as a counselor, the process is anxiety provoking for many.  I have had plenty of practice telling clients that practicing something repeatedly is one part of reducing anxiety.  I had an idea that practice was important as a kid who wanted to play tennis, and play tennis well.  I practiced incessantly, hitting balls against a backboard, and playing tennis with my younger brother.  I was practicing a great deal, but I was just not making any progress.  As it turns out, just practicing is not enough, one has to practice a lot "the right way!"  I could practice hitting a tennis ball holding the racket sideways all I want, but I will not improve until I learn some of the fundamentals of gripping the racket, moving my feet and stance in certain ways, and swinging the racket in a way that will get improved results.  So tennis practice became something more intense, and more anxiety ridden while I tried to release some preconceived notions and habits.  Doing something you haven't done before, even for a counselor, feels awkward.  But with continued practice (the right way) the new skills begin to feel more natural.

With marketing a counseling practice, we similarly need to pay attention to the fundamentals.  What are the best practices?  After all, we aren't the first to try this, just as I wasn't the first to try to play tennis.  An example of fundamentals in marketing yourself is knowing and understanding the market for your services, and developing collaborative relationships to those referring to the types of services you provide.  So, yes, we have to talk with them, and have ready the story of why we are unique in what we offer.  I believe there is anxiety for most of us the first time we do that.  This is where the practice comes in.  We become more and more polished as we tell our story over and over.  This is how we become more confident and reduce the anxiety of self-promotion.  When we have refined our message, the reasons you should refer your clients to me, our confidence in the message grows, just like holding the racket the right way improves our confidence in our ground strokes, with practice over time. 
There are many more fundamentals that I still have to learn about and practice.  My journey has just begun, but telling my story, believing in what my practice is about, has lessened my concern about selling myself and the strengths of my practice.  I am unique, and I can't wait until I'm serving aces in marketing visits!

Comments and responses are welcomed and encouraged!

Beyond Slogging Through: Another Way to Attack Depression

Have you ever had one of "those" days?  How about a "Monday" feeling that lasts the whole week?  Maybe a down mood that you feel trapped in?  Or, dare we use the word, depression?  How can you tell it's depression and not something that will just go away?

Well, you can wait and see if it goes away.   In my experience, this rarely works.  Granted, I have never had a seminal event propel me to emotional heights out of a feeling of depression, like winning the lottery or finding that I was named in a will by a rich anonymous benefactor.  I guess those things might help, but the thing about depression is that regardless of the positives in life, the depressed person has a blind spot to them.  Winning the lottery?  Now I have to deal with the taxes and people coming out of the woodwork asking for money.  Inheriting wealth?  Basically the same problems. We have an uncanny knack for finding a black cloud inside the silver lining!

Slogging Through

I will suggest something different; looking at depression as a habit pattern of thought and/or attitude.  Depression certainly has a lot of the characteristics of habits.  Our negative self-deprecating and pessimistic reactions are usually not consciously thought out, just as reactions are unconscious in habits.  Habits save energy, as they are learned ways of responding to certain situations.  A depressive habit pattern can save energy by shutting us down, and many of us have that tendency when we get overwhelmed or fatigued.

So does it help to think of depression in this way?  I think it does, and here is why.

The usefulness of thinking of depression as a habit pattern is that it gives us a way to attack the problems arising from it.  We are by no means successful 100% of the time in making habit changes, but that's primarily due to lack of follow through with proven techniques.  So how bad to you really want to pull out of that sour mood?  If you're game, I will outline a 3-point approach for alleviating depressed mood.
(Disclaimer: there are a lot of factors influencing our moods, so there is no guarantee this will necessarily work for you, but if you're like me, you have absolutely nothing to lose in trying.  But seriously, see a doctor and have your thyroid checked, and get an assessment by a mental health professional!).

This is not the only way to meditate!

1.  Become conscious of the habitual thought, attitude, and behavioral patterns that accompany your own depressed mood.  You can't change something you're oblivious to.  I would suggest Meditation and Mindfulness practices.  More to come on these in future posts.

2.  Once you begin to be aware of these reactions, take some time to focus on the specific thought, attitude or impulse.  Ask yourself these questions about what you've observed in yourself:

• Is it useful?
• Is this taking me closer to my goals in life (or will this make me happy in the long term?)
• Is it aligned with how I want to be, and how I want to view myself?

When we become aware of the opportunity to choose, then we really understand that we create ourselves with every decision we make.  And we have thousands of these opportunities daily!

     

3.   Come up with specific ways of responding that do not feed the depression habit, that feed your goals and values.  Phone a friend instead of continuing the self-deprecating mental thoughts.  Take time to reflect on something beautiful, like a sunset, a flower, or the ocean, instead of binging on food or sleeping the morning away.  And then practice.  And practice again!  And keep practicing making these changes daily, weekly, monthly, and at some point your default responses will change and it won't feel like practice any longer.

Enjoy making your changes.  I know it can be done!